Party hard! Though, perhaps not as hard as this guy.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Hot Rock Star Sex
That's right. Tell yourselves that you didn't even notice the title to this entry. You are all filthy, filthy perverts. However, with almost a year before we have to worry about being naughty or nice again, I say give in!
Christmas was lovely. I got many fine presents, including two DJ Ozma DVDs, a Kishidan CD, DVD, and the DVD of "Kisarazu Cat's Eye." I also got Super Junior's third CD, since it wouldn't be Christmas without a Korean Boy Band. The CD came with a regular sized folder, which I suppose is to store my Super Junior fan-fiction in. I don't write it: other people do that for me, and I say why look a gift horse in the mouth? If those horny fangirls want to go all yaoi on the boys, that is their right and, may I add, bless their hearts! It's a nice distraction from my own writing, which has far less sex scenes. Also, unlike yaoi, very few problems are solved by hot sweaty man action. That is also why we have wars, and other such global strife. You can thank yaoi for preserving what precious little peace the world does enjoy. If you don't believe me, ask Henry Kissinger.
Speaking of sex, my character's lewd behavior has taken a lull in favor of plot development. This has made some of them very sad. Will some literary award council pay for their prozac, after the trauma this difficult time is sure to inflict? I think not. Also, it is very hard to get insurance companies to green-light medication for people that don't exist, in the traditional sense. On the plus side, I am at slightly over 30K. I am nervous about the remaining portion, but must have faith that it will all work itself out. My story is very stubborn, and I have promised it's residents more sex if they behave for now. As many of you well know, rock musicians think of nothing but boning. To write them as anything less would be an insult.
Christmas was lovely. I got many fine presents, including two DJ Ozma DVDs, a Kishidan CD, DVD, and the DVD of "Kisarazu Cat's Eye." I also got Super Junior's third CD, since it wouldn't be Christmas without a Korean Boy Band. The CD came with a regular sized folder, which I suppose is to store my Super Junior fan-fiction in. I don't write it: other people do that for me, and I say why look a gift horse in the mouth? If those horny fangirls want to go all yaoi on the boys, that is their right and, may I add, bless their hearts! It's a nice distraction from my own writing, which has far less sex scenes. Also, unlike yaoi, very few problems are solved by hot sweaty man action. That is also why we have wars, and other such global strife. You can thank yaoi for preserving what precious little peace the world does enjoy. If you don't believe me, ask Henry Kissinger.
Speaking of sex, my character's lewd behavior has taken a lull in favor of plot development. This has made some of them very sad. Will some literary award council pay for their prozac, after the trauma this difficult time is sure to inflict? I think not. Also, it is very hard to get insurance companies to green-light medication for people that don't exist, in the traditional sense. On the plus side, I am at slightly over 30K. I am nervous about the remaining portion, but must have faith that it will all work itself out. My story is very stubborn, and I have promised it's residents more sex if they behave for now. As many of you well know, rock musicians think of nothing but boning. To write them as anything less would be an insult.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Countdown...
Two more days until Christmas. If you've been naughty all year, this is the time to start cramming some nice in! For inspiration, please enjoy this video extolling the virtues of love, friendship, and whimsy. Also there is a Christmas tree : )
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Hearts and Ponies
I'm itching to get some wordage on SOUL JERKY, however there is still coffee left in my cup. So I thought, why not write a serious entry about my novel progress? That would have worked out swell, if I hadn't decided to organize my Photobucket first. I saw things. Precious things. Hence, this post is about to burst into fluff. Because moments of hysterical whimsy are what keep dark fucks like us human.
This is Saotome "Basket of baby ducks" Hikaru. If you stare at him long enough, you will black out and begin to foam at the mouth. Hold on...I have to avert my eyes...
Ok, ok. Deep breath. Dark thought, dark thoughts. Zombie movies. Exploding strippers. Quentin Tarrantino. No, wait, not him. Eww. EWWWWW! Save me, Hikaru!
That is fucking adorable. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go write about nudity and violence : )
This is Saotome "Basket of baby ducks" Hikaru. If you stare at him long enough, you will black out and begin to foam at the mouth. Hold on...I have to avert my eyes...
Ok, ok. Deep breath. Dark thought, dark thoughts. Zombie movies. Exploding strippers. Quentin Tarrantino. No, wait, not him. Eww. EWWWWW! Save me, Hikaru!
That is fucking adorable. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go write about nudity and violence : )
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Old and New
To my chagrin, I received an envelope in the mail today. Well, most of it. From what I can tell, the card was accidentally liberated well before it reached my house. The stamp says Canada, which helps a little. Also, the penmanship on the envelope is lovely. If I have to guess, I would say it's a woman's writing. Then again, my own handwriting doesn't exactly scream "dainty," so who knows.
My own cards are 95% finished. I have a small stack left, which I will get out soon. We have a mail slot (opposed to box), and getting the postal workers to actually remove outgoing envelopes is futile. I have no clue why: maybe they think we have cooties? In any case, I'll have to hit the post office. The last time I went, I was reminded how some people need to unclench and let the stick slide out of their ass. The woman in front of me was incredibly irritating. As a good Buddhist, it would have been rude to poke her with something sharp until she stopped. I'm afraid Buddha is fairly strict when it comes to potentially skewering people.
In writing news, I will be getting a late start today. The mountain of dirty laundry needs addressing, before it becomes sentient and takes over the house. Believe me, I would rather be writing. Or napping, where one gets ideas for writing. Riding in the car is also a great way to lubricate the mind. I have to avoid certain music, however. As devoted as I am to DJ Ozma, his CDs are counterproductive when writing about a rock band called SOUL JERKY. Think of them as two great tastes that should never, ever go together. I figure DJ Ozma would be white tuna, while SOUL JERKY would be a cheese and mayonnaise sandwich. Both are delightful, and make my mouth very happy.
Music that does work: Kishidan, X Japan, and Meat Loaf. They aren't a perfect match to SOUL JERKY, though X Japan comes close, but they all tap into the muse. I might also start listening to some old Guns N' Roses. Again, SOUL JERKY isn't based on any of these bands, yet it helps to remember why I fell for this kind of music in the first place. Now, let us rock:
PS: The guitar solo at the end made Roman bark ; )
My own cards are 95% finished. I have a small stack left, which I will get out soon. We have a mail slot (opposed to box), and getting the postal workers to actually remove outgoing envelopes is futile. I have no clue why: maybe they think we have cooties? In any case, I'll have to hit the post office. The last time I went, I was reminded how some people need to unclench and let the stick slide out of their ass. The woman in front of me was incredibly irritating. As a good Buddhist, it would have been rude to poke her with something sharp until she stopped. I'm afraid Buddha is fairly strict when it comes to potentially skewering people.
In writing news, I will be getting a late start today. The mountain of dirty laundry needs addressing, before it becomes sentient and takes over the house. Believe me, I would rather be writing. Or napping, where one gets ideas for writing. Riding in the car is also a great way to lubricate the mind. I have to avoid certain music, however. As devoted as I am to DJ Ozma, his CDs are counterproductive when writing about a rock band called SOUL JERKY. Think of them as two great tastes that should never, ever go together. I figure DJ Ozma would be white tuna, while SOUL JERKY would be a cheese and mayonnaise sandwich. Both are delightful, and make my mouth very happy.
Music that does work: Kishidan, X Japan, and Meat Loaf. They aren't a perfect match to SOUL JERKY, though X Japan comes close, but they all tap into the muse. I might also start listening to some old Guns N' Roses. Again, SOUL JERKY isn't based on any of these bands, yet it helps to remember why I fell for this kind of music in the first place. Now, let us rock:
PS: The guitar solo at the end made Roman bark ; )
Monday, December 14, 2009
Goal(s)!
I'm going to take some inspiration from Jamie Eyberg and get into my goals for the season. Otherwise, I run the very real risk of losing myself in a flurry of bows and seafood. I'm from the NorthEast, you see, and when I go home I like to make up for lost time. When not shoving the ocean's bounty down my face hole, I'll focus on the following:
1. Keep up with blogs/online stuff while on vacation. Luckily I have a laptop, so I won't have to rely on my family's computer. For one, the family computer is HUGE and stationed in the living room. So anything you look up is broadcast to the rest of the house. Certain things would be very awkward to research.
2. Read more books, watch more movies. I include these as one goal, as they inhabit the same happy part of the brain. This month I read HOSTS (Dylan J. Morgan), and started GHOST WALK (Brian Keene). After that, maybe I'll tackle UNDER THE DOME ; ) My dad loves movies, so that should work out well. I'd love to go see NInja Assassin with him. Yes, it looks kind of stupid, but Rain gets bloody and violent. That is adorable.
3. Keep steady progress on SOUL JERKY. I managed 13K this past week, and would like to hit 10K or more by the weekend. During the holidays, I'll be happy with 5K or more per week. I accept that writing in my parents kitchen might suck balls.
Speaking of SOUL JERKY, I am very happy with the way the plot is going. Eventually I'll become obsessive and weird, stop sleeping, and have to remind myself to take my medication. I will do my best to shower regularly, but no promises.
In the meantime, to the honeymoon period!
1. Keep up with blogs/online stuff while on vacation. Luckily I have a laptop, so I won't have to rely on my family's computer. For one, the family computer is HUGE and stationed in the living room. So anything you look up is broadcast to the rest of the house. Certain things would be very awkward to research.
2. Read more books, watch more movies. I include these as one goal, as they inhabit the same happy part of the brain. This month I read HOSTS (Dylan J. Morgan), and started GHOST WALK (Brian Keene). After that, maybe I'll tackle UNDER THE DOME ; ) My dad loves movies, so that should work out well. I'd love to go see NInja Assassin with him. Yes, it looks kind of stupid, but Rain gets bloody and violent. That is adorable.
3. Keep steady progress on SOUL JERKY. I managed 13K this past week, and would like to hit 10K or more by the weekend. During the holidays, I'll be happy with 5K or more per week. I accept that writing in my parents kitchen might suck balls.
Speaking of SOUL JERKY, I am very happy with the way the plot is going. Eventually I'll become obsessive and weird, stop sleeping, and have to remind myself to take my medication. I will do my best to shower regularly, but no promises.
In the meantime, to the honeymoon period!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Card Countdown...
I'm almost out of cards, which means at this point I'm a little high from envelope glue. I have one "rude" card left, and three PG ones. If those run out I have a plan B, so don't hesitate if you still want to send me your address. Also, please don't assume I already have it if I sent you a card last year. I can't stress this enough: I am a moron who loses things. I salvaged about three of last year's addresses. That's a lot of lost addresses, people.
If you did get a card in the past, I would love nothing more than to send you a one this year. However, I forget who asked for cards v. who (understandably) chose to keep their real-life name and/or location private. I can only cram you with Holiday cheer if you let me. Meanwhile, I have happily finished with 90% of my X-mas tasks. I bought my family presents, all but one are wrapped, and I did all th related shopping save for fudge ingredients. I have decided to make fudge this year. Before you get all hungry, know that I have never made fudge. This could end very badly. Still, huzzah for being almost done shopping!
*I love you, weird crippled monk guy. Though you might want to rethink the Hitler mustache.
In work news, I am thus far on task with my writing. I will try to write Saturday as well, in order to create a cushion against upcoming holiday sloth. Ying found my latest installment very creepy, much to my delight. Of course, when he is creeped out he gets grumpy. Such is the price you pay when you use non-horror fans as beta readers. I give him pages to read every two days, so he can make sure I don't go off on any stupid literary tangents. Then, when I'm done, he gets to read the whole thing over again (yes, he knows this). I'd better have some hot adult action soon, before he decides to strike. Man cannot live on bread alone: they also need tight, sweaty body parts.
If you did get a card in the past, I would love nothing more than to send you a one this year. However, I forget who asked for cards v. who (understandably) chose to keep their real-life name and/or location private. I can only cram you with Holiday cheer if you let me. Meanwhile, I have happily finished with 90% of my X-mas tasks. I bought my family presents, all but one are wrapped, and I did all th related shopping save for fudge ingredients. I have decided to make fudge this year. Before you get all hungry, know that I have never made fudge. This could end very badly. Still, huzzah for being almost done shopping!
*I love you, weird crippled monk guy. Though you might want to rethink the Hitler mustache.
In work news, I am thus far on task with my writing. I will try to write Saturday as well, in order to create a cushion against upcoming holiday sloth. Ying found my latest installment very creepy, much to my delight. Of course, when he is creeped out he gets grumpy. Such is the price you pay when you use non-horror fans as beta readers. I give him pages to read every two days, so he can make sure I don't go off on any stupid literary tangents. Then, when I'm done, he gets to read the whole thing over again (yes, he knows this). I'd better have some hot adult action soon, before he decides to strike. Man cannot live on bread alone: they also need tight, sweaty body parts.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sex, booze, and rock n' roll
SOUL JERKY is off to a nice start. You can see my progress off to the right, where I used to keep track of "Surveillance" (which was finished/submitted). My ideal progress wound be 10K a week, but know that the holidays and Visioncon will slow me down big time. Which is fine, since I don't get my bass until Christmas. Since one of my main characters is a bassist, I thought it would be interesting to learn to play. I bought a copy of "Playing Bass for Dummies," as history indicates I have no natural talent when it comes to musical instruments. The best I could say to entice my father was that I would play well enough to not give cat's seizures. Apparently he believed me, the poor sweet man.
I showed the first two and a half chapters to Ying, who I'm sure was very sad that I haven't gotten to any sex scenes yet. Such things have to unfold naturally: like a beautiful, horny flower. I plan to plant a rather large garden, in that regard. These are rock musicians after all. They have very high libidos and harems of slutty, slutty women. Which is no great thrill to my bassist, who happens to be a (straight) woman. She's also a very special functioning alcoholic.
After writing a novella in the first person, I am practically giddy to go back to third person narrative. So many characters, so many points of view. One of them keeps getting more unsavory: a few days ago I learned something about him that pissed me off royally. He is a bad, bad man who should be roughly sodomized by a horse.
I showed the first two and a half chapters to Ying, who I'm sure was very sad that I haven't gotten to any sex scenes yet. Such things have to unfold naturally: like a beautiful, horny flower. I plan to plant a rather large garden, in that regard. These are rock musicians after all. They have very high libidos and harems of slutty, slutty women. Which is no great thrill to my bassist, who happens to be a (straight) woman. She's also a very special functioning alcoholic.
After writing a novella in the first person, I am practically giddy to go back to third person narrative. So many characters, so many points of view. One of them keeps getting more unsavory: a few days ago I learned something about him that pissed me off royally. He is a bad, bad man who should be roughly sodomized by a horse.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Last Chance, Party People!
I've extended the card deadline, as I forgot to write any yesterday. I'll be mailing them this weekend, but you can send your address at any time. Just know that it might get to you in January ; ) Also, spots for the child-adverse cards are filling up fast. Lest anyone be disappointed, I'll point out that there are dark as opposed to *dirty. Still, Ying has assured me that children might be traumatized. Pets, however, should remain emotionally intact.
*I am willing to write dirty things in them. Or draw them: Your call!
Now let's all enjoy an erotic moment:
Oh, Pancho. You fill me with the Christmas spirit. So to speak.
*I am willing to write dirty things in them. Or draw them: Your call!
Now let's all enjoy an erotic moment:
Oh, Pancho. You fill me with the Christmas spirit. So to speak.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
November Recap
November
Stories written:
1. Predation
2. Worked on “Surveillance.” Final word count: 29,851 (rough draft).
Acceptaces = 1
Rejections = 3
Stories out in sub-land = 16
As you can see, most of my writing effort was funneled into the worst sci-fi novel ever written. It is currently 25,078 words, due to brisk editing. One more round, and it will be ready to send out. The cows....sweet Lord Ozma, the cows...
Stories written:
1. Predation
2. Worked on “Surveillance.” Final word count: 29,851 (rough draft).
Acceptaces = 1
Rejections = 3
Stories out in sub-land = 16
As you can see, most of my writing effort was funneled into the worst sci-fi novel ever written. It is currently 25,078 words, due to brisk editing. One more round, and it will be ready to send out. The cows....sweet Lord Ozma, the cows...
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
English Lessons
I am quite tired today, so once again let us delve into whimsy!
This video is one of my favorites. I feel great empathy for Super Junior, and am humbled that they take to english so much faster than I ever will to any language. Hangeng is especially impressive: he was already fluent in two languages when this video was taken.
PS: Don't forget to send me your address if you want a Christmas card! I'm going to send them next week. Also, make sure to note which card you want (PG or crude), any dirty pictures you want drawn, and if you want me to sign it as Stephen King.
This video is one of my favorites. I feel great empathy for Super Junior, and am humbled that they take to english so much faster than I ever will to any language. Hangeng is especially impressive: he was already fluent in two languages when this video was taken.
PS: Don't forget to send me your address if you want a Christmas card! I'm going to send them next week. Also, make sure to note which card you want (PG or crude), any dirty pictures you want drawn, and if you want me to sign it as Stephen King.
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