The Peril of Cheese Ramen

Cheese Ramen was awful. I did not barf, but only because I stopped after one bite. I was sick the rest of the night, but I suppose one bite wouldn't have done that. We'll blame the rice bowl full of bite sized candy bars. That, and my utter exhaustion. Being the bright bulb that I am, it took me all day to accept why I've felt "off" and occasionally dizzy for two days. Staying up to four, eating irregularly, and taking my medication at random hours accumulated into me feeling like utter shit. I went to bed at two (early for me, these past month or so), and crashed hard. I still felt like shit when I woke up, but it's getting better.

The reason for this madness? I really, really want to finish the story I am working on. It's a longer erotic short (I predict it will end up around 10K), and I have no idea how it will end. The first half was fun: my characters met, engaged in some very satisfying dialogue, and fell in love. Now external forces are being douche-bags, and I need to know where it's all headed. Everything I come up with is stupid or too easy (aka boring). This created stress, which increased my OCD, which in turn led to lots of neurotic behavior and more stress. Today I am telling myself to back off, get some exercise, and focus on some positives before I go crazier than a shit house rat. To that end:

1. I love my erotic novel. I'm two-thirds into it, and still having fun. I've taken a week plus break from it, in part because I'm not ready to let go yet. I'll miss Dok-Muht and Haku, when their story comes to an end.

2. I wrote a horror novel. True, SOUL JERKY still needs to be edited, tweaked, and beta-read. But it exists: an entire first draft, and I still love it.

3. Feedback on my erotic shorts has been very positive. One acceptance, and a rejection so nice I nearly swooned. I have six stories in my "gay stable," and feel comfortable returning to horror with my next novel.

On one hand, that did make me feel better. On the other, it also made me feel like a cocky bastard. Ah well, we all need to fluff ourselves now and then. To further soothe myself, I'm going to drink coffee and watch this video. Yes, it's Kishidan. Yes, I show a lot of Kishidan pictures and videos. If they ever stumble onto this blog, I will be embarrassed beyond belief. Hikaru, for example, is probably much happier not knowing that I refer to him as a basket of baby ducks. Anyway, the video:



Ranma rarely takes the spotlight on stage, figuratively or otherwise, so this is a rare treat. Given my weakness for beautiful men, you can see how it would bring out my soft side.